Trust is like a plant. Nurture and love will give it life. Neglect will give it death.
I was sitting on our antique dinner chair facing my mother, father, and my uncle who stood next to my father.
I don’t remember how we all gathered. I assume I told my mother if we could all speak. For some reason, that part was left out within my perplexed memories.
My mother had a baffled expression. My father was still and calm. My uncle’s nerves were protruding through the sweat rushing down his neck.
I spoke before my voice was chained by fear and anxiousness, “M-Mom…he touched me.”
My mother’s eyes looked like they were about to jump out and land on me. She turned her head and looked at my uncle, “Did you touch her?” Not an ounce of shock, surprise, or concern in her tone; the complete opposite of her expression earlier.
He gave me a malicious stare, as though his eyes were telling me she will never believe you.
“I never touched her.” He answered in a simple sentence.
My vision was a blur. My hands trembled. I started to scratch the top of my thumb nail. I was nervous.
My mother looked at me. Everyones’ eyes were on me.
“He didn’t touch you. You see. Come on. Let’s go.” My mother turned her back and left. They all turned their back and left. I sat on that chair. I stared at the kitchen tiles underneath my feet. She didn’t believe me.
All the emotions I was feeling, slowly dissipitated. I couldn’t feel anything. She didn’t believe me.
I remember walking to my room and sitting on my bed. Why didn’t she believe me? Did I make it up? Is it okay that he did this to me? Is it right? The questions continued pouring and an answer was never found. My uncle continued his frequent visits. He continued looking at me… smiling at me. The one good thing is that he never touched me after that. I assumed he was scared, but his distant gestures made me doubt that.
Every day after that continued as usual; my father’s abuse, my facade, my uncle’s distant perverted gestures…nothing changed, except one.
I lost something, something that children hold very dear, even adults…a mother’s trust.